Overcoming Our Self-Sabotaging Ways

Self-Sabotaging activities and behaviors come with a steep cost. They destroy our relationships, cost a lot of money, and waste valuable time. Personally, I have been known to insist on doing things ‘the hard way’ and insist that no one can accuse me of taking the easy way out. Do you feel like you are constantly making the wrong choices in life? Do you continuously do things you know you shouldn’t? If you’re running in circles and never getting anywhere, you could be in a self-sabotaging spiral.

Overcoming Our Self-Sabotaging Ways

If you worry that you are alone in this type of behavior, I’m here to tell you that what you’re experiencing is ‘normal’. All of us experience this situation to some degree because we have a hard time of letting go of the way we are used to doing things. We easily become accustom to taking a certain path because it’s what we know and is often the easiest. This behavior provides a safe, comforting feeling. But if you do what you have always done, you’re going to continue getting the same dead-end results.

There is no room for self-sabotage if you want to be successful in the long-run. Step out of your comfort zone. I know, this is easier said than done. As much as we hate to admit it, change is scary. We’re adults and shouldn’t be scared of anything but fear is still extremely common throughout all ages. The unknown creates doubt and uncertainty, which tends to make us build up the situation far worse than it needs to be.  With the speed at which news travels, even if you do fail, it’ll be yesterday’s news when the next “big story” comes around. 

Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

Not taking a risk because of the fear of failure has the potential to cause more harm and (ultimately!) failure! For a long time, I thought that I was navigating life pretty well by sticking to what was comfortable. I believed that I was being successful by doing the things that I knew I was good at. But guess what happened? My life became mundane, repetitive, and I wasn’t happy. I was completely wrapped up in the fear of failure; and when I would try new things, I failed – miserably – because I set myself up for it.

While attending a field trip with my youngest son, I noticed a new mom who was keeping to herself. My husband had gone to the Thanksgiving dinner at school a few weeks prior and met the new family then. He introduced me to the mom and we enjoyed the rest of the field trip with our kids. Soon, we became friends on Facebook and began getting to know one another. But then, life happened and other moms became to fill up her time since they crossed paths more often. I pulled myself back into my cocoon, deciding that I didn’t want to put myself back out there to only be hurt by a lost friendship

I have a bad habit of this pattern with all aspects of my life. As soon as things become new or different, I pull back into my shell. Slowly but surely, I have been letting myself back out to try again. Learning to let go of doubt is not something that is going to happen overnight. It’s a skill that we have to practice every day. 

My new thought process has become, “So what if I can’t do it?” and “Who cares if so-and-so can do it better?”. Learn, practice, try. Repeat. I’m giving myself that much because I deserve better; but, if I don’t try, I’ll never know, right? That’s why I’m telling you to give yourself a break, let go of your lack of self-belief, and go for it. Allow yourself the chance to try something new – and be good at it!

Every successful person was once a beginner. The lady that lost 40 pounds and has a six-pack — she once was overweight. The entrepreneur that has a six-figure business– he was at one time working for 20k a year. If these people did not learn to adapt and get out of their comfort zones, they would not be where they are today.

So how much is it worth to you? Do you want to keep living the life that you have now or do you want to reach your goals?

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Happiness + Success

 

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